Tag Archives: Chubby

Loving myself


I have a lot of new blogs have started, but I haven’t finished them. I now know why.

This is the blog I am suppose to be writing. It came to me in the shower, so here it goes.

I spend a lot of time telling people that it doesn’t matter what you look like, you are beautiful and you need to believe. 

While this is true, I don’t believe it of myself. 

It is a lot easier to tell people to see the beauty in themselves than to do it yourself. It is easier to believe in others than yourself. It is easier to see the beauty in others, than to see it in yourself. 

I am sure I am not the only one feeling this way. So here is my idea. We will work on this together. I am going to work on everything I suggest you to do, to make yourself confident, to see your inner beauty, and your outer beauty. 

These are just a few ideas I have. I really do want to hear more from you, on what you do. I am by no means an expert. 

  • Wear things that make you feel pretty/sexy/beautiful. 
    • Don’t worry about wearing what makes you feel that way. Don’t worry about what others think of you. It is what you think of you. If wearing a baggy t-shirt and jeans makes you feel good, good for you! If you rather wear a tight dress that shows of your curves, more power to you.
  • Embrace who you are.
    • Don’t wear what I call “old lady clothes” because you feel you have to. What I mean by “old lady clothes” is the clothes that we are expected to wear, but are not us. Wear what you like. If you feel more punk rock, wear punk rock. I have struggled with this a lot. I am working on getting rid of my “old lady clothes.”
    • I am dying the ends of my hair bright pink this week. I am taking baby steps. It is always good to start small and go from there.
    • While I say embrace who you are, and wear what you like, I don’t recommend wearing a skin tight mini dress to your office job if that might get you fired.
  • Positive Affirmations
    • I know this may sound cheesy, but trust me it works. Print them out and put them you will see them. Move them around so that they don’t become part of the background. I am also posting a list of websites that have positive affirmations for you to choose from. Here are some that I plan on using them,
  1. I love and approve of myself.

  2. I draw from my inner strength and inner light.

  3. I trust myself.

  4. I am a unique child of this world.

  5. I may be one in 7 billion but I am also one in 7 billion!

  6. I am beautiful and smart and that’s how everyone sees me.

  7. I will let go of all the lies I tell myself.

  8. The past has no power and no hold over me anymore

  9. My life is a joy filled with love, fun and friendship all I need do is stop all criticism, forgive, relax and be open.

  10. I embrace positive self-esteem

  • Meditate
    • I will be the first one to admit, this is very hard for me. I have a hard time focusing on one thing at a time, let alone clearing my mind.
    • Again, start small. Take time to take a few deep breathes to clear your mind a few times a day. It takes just a minute. It will make you feel better and more energized.
    • There are a lot of good meditation tapes, books, and websites. I am still stuck on just taking time to breathe. Again, baby steps.
    • I am also including links to meditation sites I found below.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
    • Sometimes we need others to walk part of our path with us.
    • While it is good to get help from others, we also need to learn how to rely on ourselves.
    • Don’t be afraid to read books, articles, blogs (especially mine, lol j/k) to get ideas and help.
    • Join an e-list to get support from people working on the same issues. Please feel free to use my facebook group for this. The point of this blog is to help each other and ourselves.


Thanks for taking the time to read my blog again. It has become very therapeutic for me, and I really hope it helps others. Please share with anyone you think would enjoy, or might enjoy. Thank you for everyone for your support.

Here are the links I wanted to share.

Positive Affirmations:

The Only 100 Positive Affirmations You Will Ever Need

Positive Affirmations – A Positive Thinking Technique For Change

Affirmations for Radical Success

Creative Affirmations


 National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine.


Stereotypes and The Fat Mentality


I knew this was going to be the topic of my first blog (not counting about myself). There seems to be this perception that since we are awesome sized we must be X, Y, and Z.

I hate stereotypes. I thought I could cover some of my “favorites” and share my thoughts on them. 🙂

“Fat adults were once fat kids” Well I was a fat kid. I was, no getting around it. I knew girls that were very skinny in school that are no longer, same in the reverse. Things change, your life changes, your body changes. It happens.

“Fat people don’t get laid” Now that I am done laughing at this, maybe I can come up with a comment. Mostly still laughing. I think this is a ridicules statement. Sex is natural. It doesn’t matter your size, race, religion, it is normal. My size has never been a factor for me. The flip side of this, fat people will have sex with anyone that is willing. Not even close. I have turned down a lot of men. We are not dogs that take any scraps we can get. Though that is another topic all together. I will get into that on another blog.

“Fat people don’t exercise” I don’t have a regular exercise routine. I walk a lot of stairs for work. I go up and down them a lot. My job can be very physical at times. But that is me. I know people of all sizes that have exercise routines. Again, size is not a factor. People vary.

“Fat people don’t diet” You don’t want to know how many diets I have been on. Some have been healthy, some not. Again, it varies.

“Fat people only eat fast food “ I hate McDonalds. There is nothing on the menu I really like. There are things I can tolerate, but it is far from my first choice. Again, this vaies so much person to person.

Ok, I think the theme to all of them so far has been, it varies person to person. No two people are alike.

Here are some of the others I found that I am not going to go into.

Fat people are uncontrollable eaters

Fat people aren’t healthy

Fat people make poor employees

Fat people are stupid

Fat people smell

So onto the inspiration for this piece. It is a blog call “The Fat Mentality” by DC Hero. I had to read it multiple times before I could get through the whole thing without screaming too much. Wow. He portrays some serious dislike for people who are awesome sized (he has a lot of other terms for it though).

To Quote DC Hero, fat mentality is “an attitude of failure most often seen in fat people, but also seen in others.”

Here is his list of traits for people with fat mentality:

1. They draw attention to themselves in a childish way
2. If they get the aforementioned attention, they don’t have the composure to handle the spotlight
3. The spiral is simple: instant gratification, excuse, failure. Cheating on a diet to eat a pint of Chunky Monkey is a microcosm of the larger and more pervasive Fat Mentality.
4. Inability to deal with complex emotions, largely because they haven’t had much experience with them. Let’s be honest here, Fat People haven’t felt the same dizzying highs and lows of love as the rest of society. Skinny FMIs also find themselves in this situation.
5. Nonsensical deep sentimental attachments to movie characters, television shows, and animals. FMIs tend to place these things above their relationships with those around them. I would like to believe this one isn’t true.
6. Nonsensical deep sentimental attachments to movie characters, television shows, and animals. FMIs tend to place these things above their relationships with those around them. I would like to believe this one isn’t true.

I don’t see any of this being a “Fat Mentality.” I see this as a human mentality. It could be anyone, no matter the size. These are things people may be trying to work on. Pointing them out, making fun of them, berating them, does not help them make themselves a better person.
His full blog can be read at: http://dchero.wordpress.com/2008/06/11/the-fat-mentality/

Instead of me going on and on, I want to hear your thoughts. What have you encountered? What did you do? Share and get other opinions.

Also I would love to hear topic ideas from you. I have a list of ideas but I want for from you.

Thanks again for following my blog.



I have always hated writing about myself. I rather write about other people, other things, other places, but not me. I need to write about me. I need to share with you who I am. You need to know my history and where I am coming from.

I am fat. I have been called chubby, plus size, BBW, overweight, chunky, big, blimp, bulky, butterball, dumpy, elephantine, fleshy, gargantuan, gross, heavyset, hefty, husky, jelly-belly, lard, large, meaty, oversize, plump, potbellied, pudgy, roly-poly, rotund, thickset, weighty, whale like… you get the idea.

I like to say I am awesome sized. I have come to hate the term plus size. Why does there need to be a plus size? Why can’t it just be a women’s clothes section? Why does there need to be a women’s section and a plus sized section? Are we not women?

Sorry, I digress. This first blog is supposed to be about me, so you know where I am coming from.

I have always been awesome sized. I was always a bit bigger than everyone in my class. I was made fun of a lot about my weight in high school. I got used to it. I got good at ignoring it.

I got married right out of high school. Yes, yes, I know dumb. This marriage had its ups and down. During my first marriage I was diagnosed with bulimia (any size person can end up with bulimia). It was really hard. I continue to have food issues, and probably will for the rest of my life. I got a divorce in 2004. I will get more into all of that in future blogs.

After getting divorced, I joined a medieval reenactment group called The Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA). It has filled me with a lot of joy, opportunities, and friendships. I have learned so much being a part of this group, not only about history, but about myself. I still am active in the SCA.

In September or 2005, I met the love of my life, James. We got married June 9, 2007. We have two boys, 11 and 13 (yes, they were both born before we knew each other, we have a complicated family structure, but they are both very loved).

James has supported me through all of my weight and food issues. He encourages me to make healthy choices as far as food goes (you don’t want to know what I normally eat and how bad it is for me). He has never called me fat, or anything like it. He has also never said you look pretty for a big girl or anything like that. He just says I am pretty. I am so lucky to have such an awesome husband. I went through a lot of bad guys to find this one. No, he isn’t perfect, but I’m keeping him.

I am currently working as a case manager for people with disabilities. I have been working with people with disabilities for the last 5 years. I love my job. I work to many hours, but like I said I love my job. The people I support are more than a name on my case load list. I truly care for them.

So that is me, well the basics of me. As I go on about different topics, I will be sharing more about myself and my history.

I hope you enjoy and follow my blog. I have a lot of ideas for future blogs, most just need to be researched a little more and be written out. If there is anything you would like to see, please tell me. I am happy to research almost any topic and share my knowledge and opinions.